Congressional Chess Games

As we sat across the chess board, I noticed that while my opponent began the game with the full retinue of pieces, I was missing a knight, a bishop, and two of my pawns.

“How am I supposed to play the game against you when I’m starting behind?” I asked.

Let’s not get socialist about this. Chess is a meritocracy.

The radio playing in the background cut to a news break in which it was announced that Congressman Josh Riley had voted to allow immigrants to be sent off to Department of Homeland Security prison camps without any criminal charge.

My opponent moved a pawn forward three spaces. “It’s your move,” he said.